Thursday, November 6, 2014

NO You need a slap.


Guess it's just over stressed and by trying to organise everything together and you just fall and break down.
Not a good choice.

Guess it's just being desperate of attention and wanting to get involved in everything I can to be what? Popular? You're getting none like other bitch girl. 
Not a good move.

Stop please.
Get out of my head.
I want no desperation 
I want no depression 
I want no tears
I want no attention. 
Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Random night


It's not that I am not wrong or guilty

It's the fact that I'm being me that you are yet to understand.

I like freedom, don't like to be limited nor controlled.

I love the family, but so are my friends and my work.

It's her whom I don't like, she's being all the things that I don't like which makes me not wanting to go home whenever she's home. 

The fact that she has changed. Becomes so foolish and overly reacting towards every single care for you guys. She's always being so cheeky with you guys. I hate it. She was never like that before.

She was not anymore her. If she really cares, she would transfer in the first place. 

She always know what's happening with you guys which you guys will never tell me cause you think I don't understand. 

I'm old enough to know financial statuses of the family and have a part of sustaining it rather than spending it. I wanted to help but it seems like nobody understand.

I don't like spending your money while I could earn. Cause I know earning is not easy.

My carings are not always shown out, rather rarely to show. But no one ever gets me.

I love you and dad, but never once I shown.

I don't know how to show love and care, I have intimacy issues.

I want a balanced life, where I'm trying to cope with and dying to.

I need this family.

I need the friends.

I need the work that I enjoy.

I don't share deep thoughts with people cause they won't understand and don't care and I suck at portraying it.

None of the people in the world would know how I feel inside and what I think of, how could you possible know.

Always pushing blames and deaths on me. How can I feel any good?

I'm not ego, I'm not heartless. I'm more sense give that you think.

I don't understand you but I always try to.

But I'm more of outgoing person.

Don't ask me to get along with her. It will never happen.

Don't cry, cause it will only break my heart more. 

I'm complicated. I'm selfish. I'm burden. And I know. 
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